Being honest with each other

Last week, Eric Holder, the nation's first African American attorney general said that our country is "a nation of cowards" and that we are afraid to discuss racial issues openly.

"If we're going to ever make progress, we're going to have to have the guts, we have to have the determination, to be honest with each other," he said.

The February 19 article that reports on Mr. Holder's speech at the Justice Department can be found at http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_11735473.

Just how gutsy do we dare to be? Called to be One was created with determined honesty in mind, and a guiding principle among the planners was to do away with "political correctness." But still, it's hard. I find it hard and I'm known for being outspoken. I've never been afraid to stand up for what I believe to be right; I've frequently shouted that "the Emperor has no clothes" when I'm in a "group think" situation and I've suffered for it.

But that's different to hurting others. As I've gotten older, I've become more concerned about hurting others through my bluntness. I know how chance remarks can cut deep and last for years—I've been on the receiving end of enough of them.

As we debriefed after the first session, one of the Planning Team remarked that it was unfortunate that none of the people who disagreed with Rene Marie's position had the guts to stand up and say so. I mentioned that I was ambivalent. That when I'd first read of her actions last year, I thought they were definitely wrong. Comparing it to my former life as an actress, I noted that if you're hired to play Lady Macbeth, you don't show up and start performing Ophelia. It would be plain wrong.

Months later, I now understand why Rene Marie took the action she did, and I applaud it. But I'm still not sure if she chose the right venue to make the point.

How to say that at a microphone in the cathedral? How to say it without being offensive? How to do it in conversation, instead of in sound bites? So I remained quiet. I had no wish to offend two such wonderful people who have done so much for civil rights. I had no stomach to risk being misunderstood and labeled.

If we are going to overcome the cowardice that Eric Holder decries, we'll all have to cut each other a little slack if our bravery seems a bit too blunt.

The upcoming sessions of Called to be One will be moderated by Lelanda Lee, a trained dialogue facilitator. The issues at stake are much too important to walk on eggshells. The conversations may make us uncomfortable, but if we remember that other people have marched and died for social justice in this country, a little discomfort doesn't seem too much to ask. I'm willing to try it. Please join me.

--Mandy M. Rigg